The Alma Legacy 1.0

2009-01-29T10:01:12Z

120+ images
Contains: Stupidity, sexual shenanigans, being idiots, confusion, fake swears, wtfs?

<a target=" _blank"="_blank"" href="http://s521.photobucket.com/albums/w331/Kerinauu/Alma/?action=view&current=001.jpg">

This is Kimberly Alma. She's a family sim, S2, custom brown eyes, red head.
6 Neat
5 Outgoing
2 Active
6 Playful
6 Nice
Her turn ons are brown hair and great cook, turn off is facial hair.
Kimberly: LOLYAY 8D

Seeing as she's living in an apartment I thought I'd introduce her to her neighbours~
Kimberly: Lolhi I'm your neighbour now, fatty. Butter glows for you doesn't it? You can't resist it. :D
Michelle: :) ++
Wow that was retarded. /:

Michelle: 8O WAIT ISN'T THAT GOLD, NOT BUTTER?
Kimberly: Stfu. :)

Christian Love (old guy): BUTTERFLIESSSSSS♥♥
I figured I'd actually talk to the welcome wagon, maybe find her man already.
I thought he seemed decent enough.

.. Scratch that.
With a plastic surgery knife plz.

Kimberly: GO DOWNTOWN WITH YOU - RANDOM STRANGER CALLING - ME? OKAY. (8O
She's smart, shut up.

Kimberly: Don't look into his eyes, don't look into his eyes..
JewFro: 8(

Me: Uh, aren't you guys missing like 5 other Sims? |:
SlobChick: -Struts- 8D

Hells yes, it's Claire Haiku! One of the townies I made.
Claire: Ohi bb. I love the way that dress cuts down in between your boobs. :D
Oh, and she's a lesbian.

Kimberly: -Swim gestures- So then the slope got steeper and I was like OH SH-

Kimberly: And that's why my dress is low in the chest area. :)
Claire: -Approves-

Kimberly: Heybb. ;D
Devon McGuire: D: ! -FEAR- Why do I suddenly fear for my very sanity and soul?
I HELL YES'D SO HARD WHEN I SAW HIM. He's the townie I made that I loveddd. She's obviously going for him.

Devon: So I get to be in the legacy?! :D!
Me: Yes, you do. You will make many sexy babies.
Devon: :D
Me: Andliveaterriblelifestylewithachaoticfamilyandaninsanewife.
Devon: .. What? :D

SlobChick: So then I sold the pearls and bought these sexy PJS ;D
Kimberly: Mhm -moar wine-
Ox: Wtf?
Me: What the hell, why are you just standing there like that Ox.

Ox: Wtf?
Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE OX? GTFO!

Devon: Shut your eyes, maybe they'll disappear..
Kimberly: Bootybootybooty.. :D....
SlobChick: -Stares at wall-
...This is productive.

Devon: Oh god. I feel the presence of a disgruntled old lady. |: -darkness consumes self-

Me: MRS. CRUMPLEBOTTOM! You have enough problems, drinking won't help it go away!
Mrs. Crumplebottom: YOUTH ARE WHORES -downs drink-
Me: Lols! 8D I approve of drunk Mrs. Crumplebottom.

Kimberly: Obese people in pink dresses make me smile. :D
Devon: :D Agreed!
You guys are going to get along great.
... Wait a second.
Mrs. Crumplebottom: ~Grooves~
o_o

Kimberly: What about obese people in high heels? :D
Devon: NO, definitely not! I disapprove of this BS >x[
TrannyMask: lols

Me: Awww. :D
Devon: :)
Kimberly: :)
Lisa: -Shoves head through Devon's back- :)

TrannyMask: YOU GUISE. THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE. -fills in for Mrs. Crumplebottom as she grooves- HANDS TO YOURSELVES >:|

♥
They're too cute together.

Kimberly and Devon slowdanced.
Ox: >:( FML -drinks-
SO ANGRY OX!

UnibrowMask: Ohohoho! :D
I think I need to buy this mask for her house.

XMask: Man, don't trust her.
UnibrowMask: Ohohoho! :D
XMask: STFU -whatever expression it's supposed to be- = -X-

Kimberly tried to pull some of her smooooth movess on Devon and smooch him.
He obviously wants no part of that. D:

Devon: Um, no.. No thank you.
Kimberly: :D Wat? -tilts head-
You're proving yourself amazing already, Kimberly.

Lisa: -Returns to normal from out of his back-
RandomPonytailGirl: IF SHE TRIES ANYTHING DEVON I'M CALLING 911.
Kimberly: :)
Devon: :|

Kimerly: I know what will save this date from disaster -smashes in head with pillow- :D !♥
Devon: -OWNED-
Lisa: :o

You're both off to such a great start.

Pillow: -CONSUMES FACE-
DEVON YOU'RE SUCH A SISSY.

Devon: K.O. -Slow motion fall to ground-
Kimberly: I enjoy hitting him. :D
Someone's going to need anger management. |:

Kimberly: Sorry for totally owning you in the face, kiss me now. :D
Devon: -Halfdazed-
UnibrowMask: OHOHOH-
Me: STFU!
UnibrowMask: :D

I turned and this is what I saw.
SHE BE STEALIN' YO SOUL. I pity you Devon, I really do.
Devon: -Halfdazed and soul stolen- ~_~

After every single kiss they giggled uncontrollably.
Ox: Wtf?

Kimberly: Tonight was awesome. Let's be in a committed relationship! :D
Devon: Lol I have no soul :D!
XMask: I WARNED YOU! -X- -X- -X-
UnibrowMask: :D.. This can't be good.
Poor you Devon.. Honestly.

They omnomnomed each other for a bit more.

ManWanna-beWaitress: I totally saw those two making out. ;D
Vivian: Lolreally? :D Was it hot?
ManWanna-beWaitress: Hells yea!
Devon/Kimberly: NOMNOM!
XMask: -In general disapproves of this- -X-
OH, I SEE YOU THERE SLOBCHICK! BEING ALL NINJA.

So I called for a cab to go home, and I hear it honking. Only to see this. They're heading for the photobooth. COME ON YOU TWO, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. >:(
CabDriver: I don't mind ;D..
o_o..

I don't know how I feel about you right now Kimberly.

They have Jesus sex and move this 1000 pound object a foot in the air. :D

Devon: YES, THANKS FOR THE SEX. You're my bestfriend :D -claps- +1000
Kimberly: YES, I GOT LAID! -claps- ++
Lol. :| You guys are so romantic.

Come home to see Gilbert still sitting there. Glaring. Her. Down.
Kimberly: î_î KFC can be used as an aphrodisiac?!
Gilbert: >:|

Michelle: Mmmm, I could really go for some cheese and wine right now. ^_^
Kimberly: LOL FATTY!

What'sHerFace: WTF this bookcase is blocking my view of the wall!!! >:(
Me: ... Kimberly you need new friends.

Kimberly is all about class.
Kimberly: Wait.. Is that.. o_o

Kimberly: FML! Why me? :|
Me: Just don't look at him Kim.
JewFro: 8^(

Kimberly: -PROMOTION- |:(|
The stance for lazy Sims is just too hot.

Lilly: Wow, that suit looks really good around your big hips. :)
Kimberly: WAT?

Kimberly: Excuse me LILLY DO, whatchu tryin' to say about my hips? >:(
Lilly: AH HELLS, nevermind ho. Forget you!
Me: Snapsnapsnap!

I decided she needed to get more friends and meet butterfly catcher/Christian Love. Who, by the way, will now be referred to as Jesus Humper, as that's all that goes through my mind when I hear his name.
Jesus Humper: Hey, my name is -static static kshh- :)
Kimberly: o_- Jebus.

It seems all he wanted to do was talk about statues, and Kimberly wanted NOTHING to do with that.
Jesus Humper: :| -

WHY IS MICHELLE EVERYWHERE WHEN KIMBERLY IS OUT OF HER APARTMENT?
Michelle: Butter?

Kimberly: Zz zz, I hate my bed, zz zz. :D ~~*Sleep*~~

Kimberly: -DISAPPOINTMENT- 8(... I'm a failure!
Oh, don't worry. You'll get used to this.

Kimberly: -Secretly crushed- Do I still eat this FAILURE OF LIFE? :(
Me: No. You don't eat burnt food.
Michelle: Butter?

Which makes me pop the question how out of the pan it has insta-butter and maple syrup.
.. AS DELICIOUS AS IT LOOKS... Ew.

Kimberly is skilled and can make pancakes with her spatula on her knuckles.
Pancake: -Flips!- :D♥
Why yes I do have happy pancakes.

Kimberly: Yay! :) *Cheese and wine ++*
You must be so proud.

Kimberly: Hey, Devon. Come over and have sex. :) I have a closet for sex.
Devon: LOLKAY.

Kimberly: -Hangs up phone- |:(|
Me: Wow. Seriously, you're just so sexy Kimberly. How do you do it..
Kimberly: Lol it's all in the eyes ;)

Kimberly: -NOMNOM-
Devon's friend actually scared me as he tank walked to the door. Gtfo please. ):
NamelessFriend: )8| -Tanks-

NamelessFriend left. They went right to the bedroom.
Devon: Talk dirty to me. ;o
Kimberly: Wtf's wrong with your lips. Totally not sexy. |: -
Devon: '3' Hot.

I couldn't resist, they're too adorable together hsgiuhseh!

So Devon ditched her at like 3AM, LOL bang and leave.
Kimberly: -Throws up everywhere- Ugh what's wrong with me?
Me: Oh, I wonder..

After her throwing up and cleaning the toliet right after literally 5 times in a row.
Kimberly: Hmmm.. Maybe my pancakes. |:(|
Me: Mhm..

Kimberly: Ah! Wait, what?! Why did I suddenly stand up and my clothes change? D:)

Kimberly: OH F-... BABY!
Me: NOOO, NOT AT ALL!

Kimberly: Hey, yea? Devon? You knocked me up. You should come over. :D
Devon: Lol okay! :D -Oblivious-
You guys. Seriously. SO CLASSY.

Kimberly: Thanks for getting me pregnant! NOMNOMNOM
Devon: Kay. -Expressionless-

Kimberly: Oh god, he's so hot when he's knocked me up and hasn't realized his life's screwed over. I_I!
Thought Bubble: -Stabs forehead- >:D
Me: Kimberly, you need to stop with this face. /: I'm so scared for your children.
Kimberly: Hotttttt. I_I

.. So she popped the question, because it's obvious who wears the pants in this relationship.

Devon: Ohmygod it's gorgeous! Look at how it shines! :D
Me: :|.. Remember that closet she brought up Devon?...
Devon: ... What are you trying to say?

She asked him to move in.
Awwwwww.♥ Closed eyes loving hug = swoon.
Even if she has a granny butt...
Kimberly: >:( You're ruining a good moment.
GRANNYBUTT!

Newspaper: -OBAMAOBAMAOBAMAOBAMA-
Devon: I'm engaged. :)
.. This family is full of geniuses.

Sexytime ~in the closet (Devon)~..
Devon: ... >:|...!
Me: Luls! 8D Self-esteem hurting!

Devon: :o I'm hungry.
Kimberly: Lol stuck in the closet here. |: Devonnn..
Devon: :) Chicken.

So loving and sweet.

Devon: -Tries to sleep, fails- I'm hungry.
Me: ... Then why didn't you eat...
He got in and out of bed complaining he was hungry like 7 times. |:
Devon: I'm hungry.
Me: Stfu.

HE ALWAYS SMILES LIKE THIS AFTER HE USES THE DISHWASHER.
Devon: Teehee I cleaned a plate. :D
Me: Bravo, Devon. Bravo..

Devon: Oh, god. This hedge looks just like Michelle. *Swoon!*

Devon: Hey hottie, call me anytime. ;)
Me: Uh.. Devon. You're engaged. In case you forgot.
Devon: So hot..
Me: ..

He then proceeded to stare at the hedge for another good 2 RL minutes.
Devon: So green and sexy..

Old Lady Tenant Person: My, you are attractive if I do say so myself Devon. ;)

Devon: Uh, excuse me?! I have a fiance, what kind of guy do you take me for?! >:(
Me: Oh, no, you're definitely a loyal and good guy. Totally.

Old Lady Tenant Person: WHATEVER. FACTORIES. JUST WHATEVER. Dx<!
Devon: -Slouch- l:/
Me: What the hell.

Figured I'd tie the knot so he doesn't flirt with any more hedges.
Devon: It was a hot hedge. :(...
Me: Just no.

NOMSESSION!

... Then they stared at each other for another good 2 RL minutes.
Devon: ... My life's screwed over now. :|
Kimberly: I have a baby inside my no-no area. :D
Me: ... Basically.

Devon: So, uh. I know you're pregnant and all but.. We could totally have sex right now. :)?
Kimberly: LOLKAY. )8U
Wall: Oooh, so romantic!♥

Haha sexytime.. :D
Wall: O_O... ! -Not so romantic anymore-

Devon: I'm hungry. :)

Devon: Wait- no! I'm tired!

**REPEAT 6 MORE TIMES!!3*$#&^$!@#!!**

Devon: Wait- no! I'm hungry!
Kimberly: SCREW YOU DEVON I'M OUTTA HERE. >:(!

That is one wonky preggo body.
But whatever floats Devon's boat/penis.

I took this picture to think back on in the future and remember Devon IS capable of wasting groceries/making food himself.
With his eyes closed, if you weren't married Devon.. ;D..♥~
Devon: x| This doesn't feel like my spagetti-o's!

After she made her spaghetti she decided to ditch Devon and walk outside with it?
Devon: D'8 My own wife is trying to escape from me now!

... Then walk back.

Devon: Cleaning a plate doesn't have the same feeling of satisfaction when Kim isn't here :(
He must really love her. :D This is the first time he didn't smile doing the dishes.

Then she quickly dashed in and left her spaghetti there.
You're being avoided/well fed Devon.
Devon: She's fattening me up. D:

Kimberly: I HAVE TO PEE, he found me.
Devon: Dear Diary, my wife is plotting against me. I will update you when I have further discovered her plans and intentions. Wish me luck. ~xoxo
Diary: G'luck poptart. ;D

Kimberly: Hi Devon :U!
Devon: Hey, you'd look delicious with chicken. I'm hungry. :D -Waves at couch-
Oh damn, it's happening.

Devon: The view of this window is AMAZING O_O!
Me: -UNIMPRESSED!-

Kimberly: -Does the ~sexy curves~ gesture- So I was like "aw hells nah, I don't do astronauts. Talk to me when you're a fry cook"
She's bulging so hard. Pop your baby already!

Oh, dang. We all know what this face means!

Hip grope? Mmkay, whatever gets you turned on Kim. ._.

Devon: Ooh, I've always wanted to be hip groped. ;D +750!
Kim: î3î ++

Then he fell asleep and she mysteriously got ahold of his chef salad. Where she found it I don't know.

... ;)
This picture was just for me.
I don't care if he's a retard, he's such a cutieeee.

Kimberly: Eh? Oh damn. :S Why does it feel like my uterus is going to rip apart and hate me?
Me: Oh snap oh snap oh snap!

Kimberly: BAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYY. OLAWD WHY ME. I HATE BABIES. NOOOOOOOOO BAHHHHHHH WHYY.

Devon: -Pants- Oh damn, oh damn. Baby. BABY! -Stinks- BAAABBBY!

.. He's panicing from the yard instead of walking into the room.
Kimberly: -Stands chilling till the baby makes it's way out :)-

Baby Ross has been born into his Mom's freaky lookin' fingernailed hands!
What is wrong with his skin..
I can't tell if he has his Mom or Dad's eyes because they both have very similar ones.
But.. He's got brown hair?

Ross: I have an ugly name. 8(
Me: That you do~

Mother and son shot! Kim looks happy.
Kimberly: FML. :D
Ross: Yo. |:)

Devon: God Kim you're so ho- BABY! OUR BAB- -stinks-
You're going to like damage my game with all your problems Devon. :(
Kimberly: I can't do my slouch. D:

Devon: Hey, there's a crib her- I NEED A SHOWE- Hi Ross. :D
|: ..

Devon: Wow, there's a changing table here. -Stinks-
Me: DEVON WOULD YOU GO TAKE A SHOWER.
Devon: Baby.

Baby got allll tucked in, and since her baby was born Kimberly decided to study anger management. Devon clearly does not approve of this.
Devon: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITHOUT ME. HOW DARE YOU READ ANGER MANAGEMENT. YOU GAVE OUR SON AN UGLY NAME. I'M SO BUSY RAGING AND YOU'RE THERE BEING A RED HEAD.

Alllll while staring at the window...

Devon: But on the plus side, do you know that hedge in the back? ♥♥
Kimberly: I'mma backhand you. Now stfu.

Kimberly: Oh, wait a second. :O ! It's NOT okay to backhand your spouse? THE HELL BOOK. YOU'RE USELESS, USEEEELESSSS!

Devon: -grumblegrumble- My wife won't agree the hedge/Michelle's a hottie, we have a baby with an ugly name, my Diary is ugly, and now my sex life is going to go down the drain. FML >x(
Kim: |:(| .. -Legs are eaten by dress-

Devon: Dear diary, I've been having very vivid sexy dreams of old ladies.

Devon: Come to think of it, there was this one time we were on this chess board and sh-
Diary: OLAWD. D8

Want ~ hold an ugly named baby +500! :D
Devon: >:) ! , mission accomplished. +500

HOLY OBAMA I don't trust that look. 8|

Devon: Teehee, I feed you! :D!
Me: BAH -GUSHHH-♥♥♥ SOOO CUTE HFIAUSHFIUHAS.

Devon: -Srs bsnes face, drops bottle- 8|

Devon: -Srs bsnes face, drops baby- 8|
Me: ... Oh god.

Ross: YOU BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WORLD, DEAR GOD WHYYY.
Because Devon can't control his Sim-penis.

Then I looked outside and saw Jesus Humper was picking on LILLY DO enough to the point they're out there freezing fighting.

So. Finally my update.

Passouts: 1

I didn't manage to catch it, instinct made me make Kim wake up.
Also my Sims was having a problem and none of my Sims in any of my families were aging, fixed it though. I have yet to go into the family to see if they're okay though. Hope so.

Events that happened: Kim moved in, married Devon, and they had their son Ross.
Next update will probably be Ross getting at least to a child and possibly more babies? Who knows.
Now I can finally play this family again. :D!

Deception

The Alma Legacy 1.0